Saying No With Grace
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Saying No With Grace

We all have a lot to do in today's society and those of us who can't say no often get talked in to doing things we really don't want to do and even worse things we don't really have time to do. Those things take away from things that we really need to do or things that we really want to do, but how do you say no to people without sounding like a jerk? Well her are some nice suggestions.

We all have a lot to do in today's society and those of us who can't say no often get talked in to doing things we really don't want to do and even worse things we don't really have time to do.  Those things take away from things that we really need to do or things that we really want to do, but how do you say no to people without sounding like a jerk?  Well her are some nice suggestions. 

Give Yourself Some Time:  Those of us who have trouble saying no often say yes to people without even really thinking about what we are saying yes to.  The next thing we know we are committed to do something.  Start getting used to saying, "I might be able to but I really need to check my schedule, I will let you know as soon as I know if I am free or not."  That way it really does give you time to check your schedule, then decide if you have time to do it, or if you want to do it.  Then you can decide and call the person back on your terms of course at this time you will be prepared with a yes or no answer you are sure about.  There is nothing wrong with saying I am sorry but that conflicts with something else I really need to do.  They need to know what it is you need to do just that there is something else you need to do.  It also gives you time to maybe negotiate your yest answer a little better.  For instance, "I can help with the bake sale that Friday but only for the first hour, then I have some place I have to be (or something I have to do)."

Learnt to Say, "My Schedule is Just Too Full."  Y you need to tell people that sometimes there is just not time.  Simply say, "I am sorry I wish i could but my schedule is just to full" or "I just have too much going on right now."  You can follow that up with please ask me again next month or next year but only if you really mean it.  You could also follow up with "I wish you guys well though and I will be pulling for you" or something similar.

Don't Feel Guilty:  Many of who can't say no can't say it because we feel guilty.  Like if we don't help what ever event or project won't get done or will fail.  98% of the time that project will be just fine without you 

Possibly offer help in a Different Way:  If it is money they are asking for and you just don't have it or just don't want to spend it ask if you can help in some other way.  If someone wants you to do something that will take up your time you can tell them you don't have the time but offer to make a donation of money or of something else that might be needed. 

Always use a sincere and apologetic tone. 

These are all good ways of gettig out of something you really don't want to do.  If you state your answer in these ways nobody will think you are rude for turning them down or rude for the way you have turned them down.  All of these leave you opened to maybe help out in the future when time is not so demanding. 

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Comments (1)

Start getting used to saying, "I might be able to but I really need to check my schedule, I will let you know as soon as I know if I am free or not."

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I have a difficult time making snap decisions and saying "no" but fibbing about 'might be able to' and 'checking my schedule/getting back to you' is too close to lying for my comfort. 

I'd rather just say I do not wish to commit to a decision at this time. Let me think about it for awhile. Maybe we can figure out another solution. Offering money is a definant no. I would hate myself for being a 'problem solver' that way. I'm a friend, not a lending institution.

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